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Without doubt, it was fear of failure that drove me when I went on the Army Outward Bound Course at Towyn. Fear of coming back to Oswestry with a grade lower than my mates who had already been and gone and done it. Anything less than a B would just not do. But I'm not naturally good at this outdoor stuff, so I knew I had to give 110% I recall we had to be up at some ungodly hour every morning to get our hair wet in the sea before we could go for scoff. It was a race, so I slept with my kit on. To be absolutely honest, I don’t really remember very much about the climbing, abseiling and all the other activities, except the final exercise, I remember that. Organised into groups of just four, we set off under very reasonable weather conditions at the bottom of the hill! Not long after one of our number suffered an injury and we all turned back to arrange his collection from a remote house. Having done that, off we tabbed again as a group of three, doing our best to catch up on lost time. By afternoon the weather was getting pretty rough. At last light we were experiencing heavy snow and what felt like blizzard conditions raging over the mountains. Another of our number dropped out, this time he simply took it upon himself to descend the hill, seeking out the truck we were told would be constantly driving up and down the road looking for knackered Junior Leaders. That left myself and one other, can’t remember his name but I still see his face though, as I insisted we drive on through the weather conditions to navigate the whole route, taking in all the checkpoints, most of which were by this time, at least partially buried under snow. The two of us battled on, MISSED a checkpoint and had to double back AGAIN. I was really worried we would be late or last after that. Can’t remember if it was two nights we spent on the mountain or just one but I do recall the experience of grabbing just a very few hours rest on a slope, as the wind and snow raged around us. My last clear memory of that Final Exercise is the two of us snaking down a path to the waiting truck, which was visible only during the last 100m or so. My companion by now was hobbling along complaining about his feet and his knees. Only one PS instructor stood with the truck, no course members. I was convinced we were late and very much last as I sat in the back of the truck dejected but sipping the mandatory, very welcome, hot brew. After a few minutes the PS told me to pick up my kit for the rest of the exercise – we had only completed half! Now I understood why there were no other Outward Bounders at the finish. Only problem, I had to do the return leg on my own, the other guy was going to the Medical Centre. I set off back up the hill retracing my steps, when the PS shouted something like “What are you, an idiot, everyone else gave up and they are already back at camp, you two are the only ones to finish”. Right enough, when we got back to camp everyone was there, showered, fed and ready for our last night in the NAFFI. My group was last. Was that good, bad or just stupid, I wasn’t sure. Final grades the next morning. I can still see the Brigadier sitting behind his desk and the Chief Instructor standing beside him, as I waited to hear my fate. “We want to give you an A but we need to know if you really want it first. ” Why on earth would I want to discuss it? I accepted of course…. who wouldn’t. The Brigadier went on to say that he felt I should apply for a commission – me? Officers were definitely “upper class” in the Guards and I just did not see that I had a place in the Officers Mess at all. To be honest, I thought the Brigadier was right off the mark. I understood why when I got back to Os though, because Superman is a hard act to live up to. Even my best mates weren't too chuffed I'd got an A. The Co later informed that I was the only Junior Leader from Oswestry up to that point in time, ever have to been awarded an A on Army Outward Bound. What Outward Bound gave me, along with all the other training as a Junior Leader, was the confidence to know that if ever I wanted to try something new, most likely, sheer effort and hard work would get me through to at least a reasonable result. I believe arrogance is another word for the same frame of mind. What really happened at Towyn was - the weather came down, I kept going, because that’s what I understood was required of me to complete the course. There was no chance of me failing if I could still walk. For my mates who went on the same course before me, the weather didn’t come down and they didn’t have the opportunity to have a go in those conditions. Do I think I was actually a grade above the best of my mates at that time - no - definitely not. Did I really deserve an A? Not sure, maybe they felt it was time someone got an A. I’ve met loads of guys far fitter and tougher in every way and some of my mates went on to complete far harder courses and do far tougher jobs in the Armed Forces than Outward Bound as a Junior Leader. I left the Infantry to retrain in a different role, very soon after I left Oswestry.
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