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WOI Kelly, Irish Guards was the Drill-Pig while I was at Os. (He may have been a WOII?) He had a stammer. It was often hard to keep a straight face at times. I'm not sure how much he played it up for comic effect or whether he really did struggle with his P's and F's in particular.

Once on Extra Drill (yes fourteen days Restrictions!) he was taking us defaulters and inspecting us prior to our rifting around the square, he came up to the lad beside me, a Para. Drill-Sgt. Kelly, "What made you join the P, P, P, P, P, - Airbourne?"On another occasion it was, "The squad will F, F, F, F, F. Oh stick your bloody knives on!"

It was always a hoot on Passing-Out Parade rehearsals when he would stand at the MRS side of Wingate Square and count out the required 15 paces between each half-company required to provide correct spacing on the march-past."One, Two, Three, F, F, F, F, Six, Seven........"And it was always spot-on!

I often wonder whether Ronnie Barker was an ex-junior and based Arkwright on Drill-Sgt. Kelly!